Writing

Learning the craft of acting & directing is so much different than most people could even imagine. Above all, it's hard work, because the so called inspiration thing actually happens, but most of the time it just happens in the wrong moment & disappears as quicky and unexpectedly as it came to you. Anyway, acting to me has always been like a tool to express emotions, but it just made me aware of some other impulses inside of me. Without the acting, I wouldn't have been able to start writing & directing and these two are so much more a way to express myself than the acting. And there you can really feel the inspiration and you're really dependent on it. And I've been happy enough to have lots of people who are supportive and believe in me - not only friends, but some people, whose work I respect as well. And I've learned my lesson - don't give up. Not easily! Because it's what I used to do until recently - I just started a story and at the beginning I just felt passionate about it & confident about that I was writing, really mattered somehow, but then I just lost the interest & this emotion & I gave up on this story & started another one. I finished only a few. Anyway, now I have these weeks off (we have a break) and I'm home, far away from friends and coffee calls (I hate them, because I just can't say No, even when I want to!) & I have some time just sit down & write. I'm working on a story I happen to live & to believe in and that's something. The images & the characters just happen & I enjoy it. And what's even more satisfying is that I have a clear idea of what it's going to be. What the story is going to be about. So I'm not afraid of it taking shape. And having the instincts of an actor is just helpful here. It helps me find the character within the story. Maybe some people really start from acting and then really have careers as writers & directors - like Emma Thompson and George Clooney (whom I respect as a director much more than I do as an actor), Romen Polanski & even Clint Eastwood (I happen to love Unforgiven & Mystic River). The new story just starts to take shape, but I feel I'm in full command of it. I hope I don't give up! Please, don't let me!